Thoughts on 13 Years

Today, B and I celebrate 13 years of marriage. In some ways it has flown by, in others it seems like ages ago. Last night we decided to watch our wedding videos as a family. We haven't done this in several years and never with the kids.

There are two videos. One of the ceremony and one of the reception. Both are on VHS tape, which I really should have transferred to dvd sometime soon, right?

The kids were totally grossed out by us kissing and dancing together. What's up with that? It was so interesting to see the people that were there, most of which we hardly (if ever) talk to anymore. More people than we'd like are no longer with us. More marriages than we'd like are dissolved. Some people weren't married yet, children not yet born. It was a beautiful ceremony. The reception was fun. Everyone seemed to have a good time. We always refer to that day as the day that our family started. That's why we tend to include the kids in our celebration. Well, not all of it, I guess.

Anyway, so there we were on the tv: so young! so innocent! B always referred to me as "perfect". I was totally in La-La Land about what it would be like to be married. B had a baby face and a full head of hair. The sound of my voice is unrecognizable, after years of being strengthened by yelling at and for my children, I suppose. So soft & quiet. I was also VERY uptight. There are a lot of what appear to be painful movements as I attempt to dance. B is far more relaxed. Someone slipped him a glass of champaigne. I could have used a drink at the moment too!

Since we watched that video, I've been reflecting on the last 13 years of marriage.

We've done all the usual things, loved, laughed, lost, fought, moved, bore children, merged what we thought our life was going to be with what our life really is.

There is a scarlet thread that binds us to each other and through all our time together. Our marriage is to me, a picture of God's grace and mercy to us. We accept every day together as a gift from His hand.

When I reflect on the last 13 and think about all the unknowns of the next 13 (happiness? pain? love? hate? loss? gain?), I am convinced more than ever that God is out for our good. No matter what.

That is how we've made it through 13 very active years of marriage and service to each other and our offspring. And how we'll make it 13 more, at least, Lord willing.

Even though I'm no longer in La-La Land and he has long figured out that I'm not perfect.